My first two weeks in Japan again.

SNOW, more snow, complete melting, then more snow, rain, and several earthquakes. I’m told these are aftershocks from the big earthquake last year.

The day after arriving. We shake and roll….a 6.4 tremor.  I have flashbacks of my experience a year ago in the BIG earthquake.  My predecessor colleague said afterward:   we need to sleep with clothes at end of the bed, with flashlight, ready to go.   If there is a 7.0 or bigger earthquake, we will lose power since we’re only 30 miles away from a nuclear reactor (not Fuchishima).  Oi! Only a little disconcerting.

Just as I was congratulating myself for not freaking out, I got the word on skype that my oldest son will not be returning to Afghanistan after all.   YAHOO-HALLELUJAH.   Bring on the tremors any day if that means he doesn’t go.

Misawa

….farmlands, Shinto shrines, Buddhist Temples, and people who are obviously resilient after the big earthquake.  I feel welcome everywhere I go.

Check out my video here for a visual of my time here so far:   http://animoto.com/play/L6yVMFG68I0LfMtoSrmOHA.   Then let me know what you think…..post at the bottom of this page.

The pace is busy on base.  And weather changes in minutes.  Nobody knows whether we will wake up with more snow on the ground or whether the winds will pick up to 65 miles/hour and blow the snow around.  I don’t leave a building without my warm jacket.

My predecessor struggled with getting home last week when we pulled up at the airport and discovered her flights were suddenly cancelled after the worst typhoon like weather in Tokyo since 1959.   This is a place of contrast and unpredictability.

So as I make my way around this Northern part of Japan, stay tuned for more adventures.  Thanks for reading and following my journey.

Two months in Guam.     Leaving behind my heart.   The photographs I took can never come close to the beauty here nor the haunting memory of WWII battles.

It’s been an incredible experience to be on this island that is tiny and beautiful.  The hearts of the people here are big.  The memory of WWII is sobering.  The contrast is huge….beauty and tragedy.

Lucky, lucky Jo.  Tonight is a night of gratitude for the adventures & the people I have met on this warm tropical island where the waters are crystal blue.  Thank you, Guam.

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This is the time of year when everything gets ramped up into full speed and it’s so easy to get caught in the frenzies.

The busy holidays, the flashes of celebrations, shopping, cooking and a year closing down…all these THINGS we do can quickly get out of hand, creating great big overwhelm.  Right?

Well, I invite you to take a deep breath before all the busyness happens and read my tips below about letting go of 2011.

The year for me was a head spinning ride. Many of you know that I was walking up a flight of stairs just 40 miles from Tokyo when the Japanese 8.9 earthquake struck back in March.

A week later, I was greeting military family members arriving from Japan on a base near my home in California.   When the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear reactor started looking dicey, everyone wanted out of Japan so military dependents were given an option to leave.  It was a bit surreal to have been on both the front end and the back end of one of the most powerful earthquakes recorded in history.  I was so, so happy to be home where things felt safe again.

Last month, my son, along with other young Marines, safely arrived home from Afghanistan. No words describe the moment when I hugged him that day except sheer GRATITUDE.

Perhaps you had moments like this when you felt grateful this year.   I invite you to capture these moments for yourself to complete 2011.    This is an opportunity to move forward into 2012 so that you can create more of what you want in an uncertain and unknown world.   People are slightly dizzy from thinking about the future yet to be created and lived. 

Now is the time to squeeze the best out of the dying year and get ready to journey into this next part of your life.

For me, I will to let go of the fear & uncertainty I held for seven long months in knowing my son was in danger. I’ll take with me into the New Year the courage and grace I used to survive his deployment.  What will you take with you into 2012?

These are things you can do right now to package up the best (and worst) of 2011 and send it on its way.

FEEL THE PLEASURE

1. Identify your successes for 2011.   Yes, successes.  What did you do that you’re proud of?  Check out all areas in your life:  relationship, career, financial, home, creativity, health.

Can’t remember that far back?  Take out your calendar, journal, emails, notebooks and jumpstart your memory of the year; ask your family & friends what their successes were to help you recall your year.

MAKE LISTS

1. Of people that you touched or helped
2. Stuff you pulled off you’re proud of
3. Accomplishments.

Take your time. Pour yourself a glass of wine, a cup of tea, light a candle.  Get it down on paper so you can see the wins.

What were your obstacles or challenges?

1. How did you handle those challenges?
2. What did you learn about yourself this year?

HAVE  COMPASSION

Take a look at those challenges, the things that you wish you had done or the decisions you feel were mistakes.  Kicking yourself because you didn’t achieve what you wanted?  Trying not to think about the past year because you want to avoid those feelings?

You probably know that these self-deprecating feelings will not help you move forward.  They will only keep you trapped in the past, thinking you’re not good enough.  The truth is you are good enough.  You’re actually much better than good enough.   Allow the negative thoughts to evaporate.  You don’t need them.

BE GRATEFUL

Smile right now as you think about the past year.  Appreciate that it was yours:  good or bad, you got to live it.   Say thank you for the experience.  Because even if the year sucked for you, you made it through.  You survived and most likely you learned something about yourself.

Time here for more candle lighting, a few moments of solitude to savor your year.

LET GO

Write it all down, the things that you don’t like.  Then burn it, tear it up, shred it, let the energy of all of it go.  Have a ceremony or ritual where you release all the energy that you have tied up in the year.

Decide on the parts you want to take with you into 2012.  The feelings, the courage, the stamina, the “I rock” attitude…keep them close by, they will serve you well again.

CELEBRATE

Now’s a good time to have your own little party & celebrate by lighting a candle, dancing, congratulating yourself, having a glass of champagne, or just sitting with nothing to do and being stoked about how stunning you are and were in 2011.

Throw a party and invite all your friends to celebrate their year and yours.   Light sparklers to celebrate.

GLIDE INTO 2012

This year gave you what you needed whether you wanted it or not.  Celebrate being alive.  Give thanks for this experience of life.

Now you are ready to have fun during the holidays and welcome in the New Year.  With everything all wrapped up, opened up, examined, savored, & celebrated, you’re ready to create something new for your life in 2012.

What will you let go of in 2011? And how will you let go?   I’d love to hear what that is.  Post your response here.

It took me a few moments to regroup, realize it was nothing, and then I could laugh.   The irony of it.  They had been traveling for days, we family members had been waiting months, and now the bus had gone as far as it could go… just a few miles away.

I took a deep breath and looked around me.  There was a menagerie of people…spouses dressed up in sexy short dresses with signs of  “Welcome home” or “Get a kiss here.”  All these beautiful women were excited and jittery.  There were parents who had flown in from all over the US.   Tiny babies and kids were amusing themselves with American flags.  There were Marines in their uniforms, waiting to welcome home their buddies, some who had just returned themselves from Afghanistan a day or so before on the first flights home.   The day was warm and the skies a clear blue.  Perfect weather for their arrival.

Then I saw the wounded Marines.  The ones with no legs or one leg.   The ones in wheel chairs.  I felt the pang in my heart, the I’m-seeing-the-thing-that-I-have-dreaded-might-happen-to-my-son right in front of my face, shaking me into the hard, cold reality of war.   I saw one Marine, a double amputee wearing a tee shirt which read “I had a blast in Afghanistan.”  Whew.  I didn’t know whether to bow to him that he could actually see the humor in his situation or cry.  I could see it, feel it, know that his life and his family’s had undoubtedly changed forever.

I wondered about all the Marines we did not see.  I knew in my heart there were many, many more.  How they must have been in hospital beds waiting yet for another surgery. And I knew that there were too many who would never make it home.   I especially wondered about their mothers & fathers and how the deployment had changed all their lives forever.

And I realized, a few hours later, when suddenly I saw my Rob, walking towards us, with the same gorgeous smile, that life for us was going to be okay.  I just knew.  And at that split second in time, I felt like  we were the luckiest family on the earth.   He got off that bus and he marched in with the others.  He was our same Rob, he came home to us.  And gratitude once again trumped every feeling.

Grateful Moments

Today I started a Seven Day Detox.

Uh, the reason?

To give my digestive system a rest and  have more energy.  I’m working with a group called The Raw Divas….and hundreds of people around the world are doing this same thing so it’s very supportive.

Yesterday I hit up the Farmer’s Market and in the above photo, you’ll see what I came home with, what I get to eat.

Today is water only….but just for 24 hours.  I get to eat fruit tonight at 6:00 pm.   So far I’ve not eaten for 19 hours.  5 more to go.   The rest of the week is fruit and veggies.  That’s it.  All raw.

How hard is it?

Hard.  Well actually, the biggest challenge is with my head.  Every 30 minutes I think I want to eat but then the feeling passes and I don’t seem to be hungry anymore.  But I’ve set aside the day to journal, relax, read, and later I’ll go for a walk.  I actually do feel great, lighter, quiet inside.  It’s a great day to do this.

I hate that I haven’t posted in awhile but I’m just on my last week of a 90 day rotation.

And then I’ll be in a transition.   Again.   And the best part is my son Rob will return soon from Afghanistan and no doubt this will be a transition time for he and my daughter-in-law, Julia, as well.

So this is a great time to detox, to declutter the body, to get still to “allow” ideas and opportunities  to come to me, and to just be.  To savor.

In case anyone reading this is interested, there’s a chance to “Detox” your physical space.  Read on……..

Join my friend, Andrea, and I next Saturday (Oct 8th) for a virtual decluttering retreat and get rid of some physical clutter.  Go HERE to sign up.  Just scroll down the page after reading my guest post about “Letting Go” for the details about the clutter retreat.

Wherever you are, I wish you happy autumn days.

And I’m doing a 7 day Detox.  The gorgeous fruits and vegies above are the things I get to eat while I’m detoxing.  Today, this first day is water only (just a simple 24 hours) but then tonight at 6:00 I get to eat again.

Why am I doing this?

Okay, so maybe it seems radical or crazy but I want to give my digestive system a rest and have more energy.  That’s for starters.

And this week is my last week of a 90 day  rotation so what a better time to do this than now.  And I’m coleading a Clutter retreat this upcoming Saturday, too.

My son is in a war zone.

Yesterday he called but I missed it.  I hadn’t heard his voice in almost 4 months and he called and I was in some silly store, had my phone turned off.  At first, when I heard the voice mail message, I was so happy to hear his voice.  He sounded just like my Rob, the one I know without the M16 rifle, the too short, almost bald Marine haircut.  It’s Rob, I thought, he sounds like he’s right here and then I realize that I had missed a chance to talk to him.

It’s not a big thing, I told myself.  He’ll call back… I argued with myself.   But he won’t call back because he’s in a flippin combat zone.   And then I got really pissed.  Angry.  Cursing myself for being at the store trying on clothes while my son tried to call.  Swearing…. why hadn’t I taken the phone off vibrate so that I could hear it?   I was shopping, for Pete’s sake.

The kind part of myself stepped in and said, “but how would you know he was going to call?  You can’t put your life on hold.”

“Shut up…. No one wants to hear that right now.”

I came home, saw the text from Julia.  “Did you get to talk to Rob?” the text said.   And I immediately, surprisingly burst into tears.  I felt cheated.  I heard myself say, “It’s just a phone call, Jo, what are you getting so crazy about?”  Even I was taken aback at how strong  my emotions were about this simple phone call.  This knee jerk appearance of tears always surprises me.

Because, because I have a son in a war zone.  And I just wanted to hear his voice, know that he is okay.  I just want him to be home.  I want him to be safe.

My son is in a war zone and this is the invisible cloak I wear everyday.  Even though I do not think about it every minute, it is with me all the time, always.

I can go back to my normal life, carry on again.  But this outburst, the tears, they remind me of what I am going through, what our family is going through, this having a son deployed.  It is unnatural to have someone you love in so much in danger.  Everyday.  For 7 months.  And unnatural that you don’t get to talk to them.  Or see them.

And then I remind myself of my friend whose son was murdered recently.  I am immediately sober.  Because I have faith that my son will come home soon.  I still hold onto the knowing that I will see him.  I have what my friend does not.   She does not have this hope.  This hope  I hold onto.

So then I replace the worry, the anger, the “poor me” attitude with gratitude.  Gratitude that he is alive.  And he will come back to us.

Have you ever done something totally off the wall ridiculous?

Well, I did last night.  I participated in a flash mob.

Wikipedia:  A flash mob (or flashmob)^[1] is a group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual and sometimes seemingly pointless act for a brief time, then disperse, often for the purposes of entertainment and/or satire.

That I-double-dog-dare-you part of me went for it.  Uh hum.  She said…just do it, you’re up for it.   I tried to console myself when I realized that she was taking over.  “There probably won’t be anybody there you know,” I said to myself.  Right.

And so we started in the downtown square with a live high school band playing big band music.  Casually, about 7 of us (women, different ages) walked out into the center and started dancing.  The steps we learned the night before seemed easy enough.  I felt okay until I realized that on the turn, then I’d be in front.  But the Daring part said, “just get over it, Sister, cause you’re here.”

I thought I’d think about people thinking we were lunatics, but I was too busy dancing.

I thought I’d be frozen in self consciousness but instead I just let go.  I  had fun as if it was normal to just start dancing out in the middle of a public place.

It was hot and sweat was rolling down my back but I was proud, charged up when we finished and casually walked away like nothing had happened.  Bizarre.  And bold.

And then we went to 2 more places and danced our wildness again.

The wild part of me really got into it.  That part that longs not to censure myself.  Just a couple of weeks ago at my Wild Wise Woman retreat,  we talked about letting the wild part out.  And so I did.

Wasn’t it Eleanor Roosevelt who said….”Do one thing everyday that scares you.”

I dare you to do something wild today and then post it here.  Or just tell us something wild you’ve done.  I’m waiting.

If you’re in the Davis-Sacramento area, go to to Pamela Trokanski’s Dance Studio.  The  getting ready to Flash Mob is  free on Thursday nights.  And then when there’s a flash mob event, you just join in.   Pamela is awesome and her enthusiasm & high energy is contagious.  She’s a master at leading you to being free and letting go.

I wonder what Rob & the other Marines will be doing on this day when we celebrate our nation’s independence and freedom.   How many patrols will he be out on today?  Will he be in a humvee or on foot?  Just exactly how hot will it be?  I heard that it gets to be 120 there easy.    I think about these things as we go to the 100 degree mark here & my house is 87 degrees inside tonight even with A/C and I’m hot.  I imagine he would smile if he heard me complain, especially since I don’t have to strap on 25 pounds of gear to begin the day and think of air conditioning as some distant luxury.

I wonder how he feels about us celebrating the 4^th with fireworks while everyday there I imagine he sees and hears deadly “fireworks” as a normal thing.   I imagine he doesn’t have time to think about much except stayin’ alive.

Remember that old John Travolta song?  Rob was always great at dancing to the Saturday Night Fever song “Staying Alive”, waving his hand across his body just like Travolta which was hysterical.  And now he’s “stayin alive”, watching out for IEDs and bad guys as he calls them.

I think he’d think it was cool if he knew I was participating in a Cross Fit class in the morning dedicated to him…all organized by his beautiful wife and his thoughtful sister-in-law.

I wonder what he’d say if he knew we’d be making our annual trek to the high school grounds at 6:00pm where families sit on blankets, play Frisbee, & we all watch skydivers jump out of  planes and land triumphantly right in front of us.  Thom and I will be in our folding chairs on the front row as usual, having a picnic of roasted eggplant, fresh cucumbers from my garden in a Greek salad, fresh peaches, and a glass of red wine.

We’ll watch the Taiko drummers, then hear the band play the national anthem and we’ll stand and put our hands over our hearts.    When the sun dies down, we’ll wait for the first cascade of bursting white lights & we’ll hear the loud blasts & see the spectacular firework display  from the comfort of our own blankets as it cools off and the the smoke will be everywhere afterwards in the starry night.

Rob doesn’t wonder about any of this  ’cause he’s just stayin’ alive.

I love you, Robbo.

Summer solstice.   Longest day of the year.  Shortest night.  I used to never pay much attention to this day but now I know that it is a time to give myself a break and totally enjoy the season of summer.

This is my favorite time of the year because it’s a time when it’s easy to see so much abundance everywhere.   The veggies are growing & flowers are delighting us with their beauty and color.

We feel lazy because it’s hot and if we trust our instincts as in the quote above, it’s a great idea to stop our busy lives to rest and feel lazy and do nothing but see and smell and hear what the earth is saying to us.  It is then when we can have the most simple of all moments.  To just be.

This morning I got to do my yoga outside.  Afterwards I watered my garden, cut off the dead blossoms, pulled up weeds, and had a conversation with a big fat blue jay.  He was sitting on my fence as if to say….”hey you, this is my garden, too.  I dare you to share it   with me”

and so I nodded to him and said I’d be happy to.

Top 10 things to do in Summer

1. Grow something.  There is nothing quite like picking a blackeyed susan or a dahlia from your garden.  Or bringing in  zucchini, tomato, or parsley you grew yourself.
2. Smell the scents all around…fresh cut grass, lavender, close your eyes and see what is there.
3. Read your favorite book
4. Gratitude journal.  Write all the things you have in your life now.
5. Listen to your favorite music.  Get your feet moving, your hips, & dance by yourself.
6. Learn something.  A new recipe?  A way to get rid of your clutter?  How the brain works.  Learn how to play the harmonica.
7. Get rid of clutter.  Huge to lift your spirit and immediately  re-energize yourself.
8. Go outside.  Sit in a hammock.
9. Connect with someone you love and spend the afternoon with them doing nothing but just enjoying their company.10. 10. Have your own retreat.  Go away, set aside a day for yourself.

Savor  summertime.  That’s what I’m gonna do.  What about you?

Today we honor the Veterans.  The people who have served our country, some who have given their lives to it.    I attended the Memorial Service in the Davis cemetery this morning.  They have it every year but this was my first time.  It was windy and cold, a strange occurrence for this time of year.  I noticed the red, white, & blue flags blowing violently in the wind and the smaller ones on the gravesites.  At times during the service I thought I heard thunder but it was only the wind speaking through the microphones.  The brass band played America the Beautiful while I found a seat.

The music from the Davis Madrigals and the Davis Children’s Choir was tender and touching, just right on this balmy, sunny day.

I was surprised to hear that the keynote speaker was a Gold Star father.  For those of you who don’t know, a Gold Star family member is any immediate family member of a person who dies in a combat zone while a member of the armed forces.

The speaker’s son was killed in Iraq in 2006.  We can all imagine the tragedy of his experience but what was hard to fathom was how he had been able to get up, talk about how much he loved his son to us on this solemn day.  Like most of us parents who have a child deployed, we try not to think about the possibility that we too, could suddenly become  a member of this group.  And here he was, five years later, having lost the most precious thing in his life,  showing us what true grace looks like.

Many thoughts ran through my head.  How my boys one day, too, will be veterans and we will honor them for their service.  How my uncle had served in World War II and I never really thanked him for his service.

It has been emotional day.  It is Andrew’s birthday tomorrow….28 years old and he is in a faraway land. 

And Rob, fighting a war which most people never think about.  It’s 110 degrees in Afghanistan now and they eat meals out of cans.  They find IEDs and caches of weapons.  That’s about all I know.

We got to see Rob’s  photo….when Julia talked to him on skype on Saturday.   I saw his gorgeous smile shine back at me but I could see how tired his eyes are.  Beautiful Julia took the photo with her phone.

So as I journey though this phase of 1/3 through a deployment, I allow myself to feel my feelings and then know that I will keep going.  Just like we all do.

I think about how many mothers, how many families have wandered through their days while warriors have go off to war.   I am not the first and unfortunately I am not the last.   But on this day I realize there are no words.  Only grace and gratitude.