The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.
- Sidney J. Harris
In 2004, my youngest son graduated from high school and left for college. Despite my background as a marriage and family therapist and my full awareness of the empty nest syndrome, I was surprised to find myself wandering around dazed and disoriented, unsure of what it was I wanted or what the next step for myself was.
After my son left, I began a journey of deep self-exploration. I didn’t have a clue what I wanted or needed. I just knew that I was unsatisfied with my life, that I was tired and stressed most of the time.
Not long after my son left, I decided to take a day trip by myself. Looking back, I realize that it was my very first retreat. What I discovered was the sheer delight in being without kids, phones, email, work, and the endless lists I devised for myself everyday. I felt giddy and free. I danced on the beach, buried myself in the sand, wrote in my journal and made photographs of whatever inspired me at the moment. It was intoxicating . . . spending an entire day without appointments or thinking about someone else’s problems or wondering what I had to make for dinner. I was amazed to feel so rejuvenated and alive as I drove back home.
I began having idea parties, inviting my friends and their friends to talk about our dreams and wishes. We gave each other ideas for making these special dreams happen. My dream was to travel and get paid but I was sure that this was a crazy, ridiculous idea. A year later, I found myself working with a team of therapists on military installations in Europe, getting paid to travel and work. I watched myself in disbelief override my fear of finding my way around on Swiss trains and German autobahns all by myself. I was deliriously proud of myself when I found my way after getting lost on a regular basis. I learned that people all over the world will help if you smile a lot and ask for directions.
During my journey of learning about myself, I found SoulCollage® and became a SoulCollage® facilitator. This process helped me further be able to tap into what I really wanted, into a deep place of wisdom. I became proficient at EMDR, a process so valuable to my clients. I took coursework to become a professional life coach, amidst traveling and working. I spent ten days working with Hurricane Katrina first responders in Baton Rouge with a team of EMDR clinicians. And I hired a coach who was invaluable in helping me accomplish my goals.
I started leading weekend retreats and discovered the magic in women getting away from their hectic lives, connecting with each other and connecting with themselves. I became part of a network of retreat coaches across the US and several countries around the world. Most of all I learned to listen to what my heart has to say to me.
Today I do what I love, helping other people, traveling, leading retreats, and expressing myself creatively. I’m less hesitant to take care of myself, I can ask for what I want and I cherish the time I have by myself. And I find that the more I take care of myself, the more I am able to give back to my family, my clients, and the world.
I am married to a very talented and supportive husband, Thomas Roberts, who is also a therapist and a gifted photographer. We travel near and far photographing old barns, people in the marketplaces, deserts in Nevada and beaches in Hawaii. We have two very independent, capable sons who have recently become Marine Corps officers. When they are home, we celebrate the time together laughing, cooking and eating fabulous healthy meals.
